Page 40 - Waterfall_Issue 5_2022

Waterfall Lifestyle

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO Healthy emotional and mental between yourself and others. Personal
SET BOUNDARIES? boundaries help you to avoid boundaries help you decide what
• To communicate your needs in a assuming responsibility for other types of communication, behaviour
relationship people’s feelings and problems. They and interaction are acceptable.
• To make time and space for positive help you develop critical thinking.
interactions You think about your own values BARRIERS TO BOUNDARY-
• To set limits in a relationship in a way instead of automatically agreeing with SETTING
that is healthy. others’ criticism or advice. A good It seems obvious that no one would
foundation of internal boundaries want his/her boundaries violated. So
IT STARTS ON THE INSIDE assists in setting external emotional why do we allow it? We fear rejection
Internal boundaries involve regulating boundaries. These boundaries make and, ultimately, abandonment. We fear
your relationship with yourself. This us accountable for our actions and confrontation and feelings of guilt. But
applies to aspects like self-discipline, feelings, and they make other people often we simply haven’t been taught
healthy management of time, accountable for theirs as well. how to set effective boundaries.
thoughts, emotions, behaviour and
impulses. Learning to manage negative Personal boundaries define where Assess the current state of your
thoughts and feelings empowers you, you end and others begin, and are boundaries by looking at the
as does the ability to follow through on determined by the amount of physical following characteristics of healthy
goals and commitments to yourself. and emotional space you allow and unhealthy boundaries:

Healthy boundaries allow you to: Unhealthy boundaries are characterised by:
Have high self-esteem and self-respect. Sharing too much too soon or, at the other
Share personal information gradually, in a end of the spectrum, closing yourself off and
mutually sharing and trusting relationship. not expressing your needs and wants.
Protect physical and emotional space from intrusion. Feeling responsible for others’ happiness.
Have an equal partnership where An inability to say “no” for fear of rejection or abandonment.
responsibility and power are shared. A weak sense of your own identity. You base how
Be assertive. Confidently and truthfully say “yes” or you feel about yourself on how others treat you.
“no” and be okay when others say “no” to you. Disempowerment. You allow others to make
Separate your needs, thoughts, feelings and desires decisions for you; consequently, you feel powerless
from others. Recognise that your boundaries and do not take responsibility for your own life.
and needs are different from others.
Empower yourself to make healthy choices
and take responsibility for yourself.

38 Waterfall Issue 5 2022